It's hard to believe that there was actually a time in my life when I was not affected by autism. My amazing boy will be seventeen this year. He was dx'd at three and a half years of age, it seems so long ago. It's strange to think back because in those early days when I started to suspect something was wrong, I didn't do very much smiling. In fact I sometimes thought I would never smile again. How could I right? My beautiful baby boy had autism, and let me tell you THAT WAS NOT IN MY PLAN, as a single parent who just graduated from college with a degree in social work. I was not ready for the monumental changes that this was going to bring upon me. I remember taking an online quiz about depression. This was back in 1998 when I got my first computer. I took the online quiz which was a genuine tool that clinicians use to gage depression and I was off the charts, I mean off the charts. Give yourself 20 points if you recently split with significant other, CHECK. 20 points if you recently experienced a death in the family. CHECK CHECK. 20 points if you recently graduated from college CHECK, 20 points if you moved into a new place CHECK. 20 points if you have a child with a disability CHECK. You get the picture? There is so much to share of my experiences. To say it has been a roller coaster would be a gross understatement, but there have been so many changes and ups and downs. By writing this blog I understand that I need to "go there " to go to those places in my mind, to revisit those painful emotions that hurt so bad I thought I was going to break in half. At first I thought this blog was going to be about my son Zach and his journey through autism but MY journey is just as significant and believe it or not, sprinkled through all of this pain and heartache were moments of pure hilarity and self discovery. THAT is what I want to share!
If there is anyone reading this who has just received the news that your child is autistic and you are thinking how hopeless things are and that you may never smile again, I raise my glass to you and say "Join Us"
3 comments:
Thank you for sharing and giving us a glimpse into your journey with autism! You are an amazing woman and mother! p.s. not too shabby in the writing department either!!!!!!!!!
Lesa:
Your Mom just sent this to me...Joan and I have followed Zach's progress through her...you are so very lucky to have the kind of support system that she provides...physical as well as emotional.
You have to be a "Champion Mom" to cope with the problems that you face daily.This blog will not only free and cleanse you, but will deliver enormous insight into the disease and HOPE to those who are also facing the problem. Lesa I raise my glass TO YOU!!!! Frank Satinsky
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
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