Ronnie

I don't feel like I can blog one more day without telling everyone about my wonderful other half Ronnie.  We started dating when Zach turned five years old and although we knew each other a few years prior to this and were definitely VERY FOND  of each other the timing was not right.  So we went on our first official date on Ron's 30th birthday where we met for drinks along with some other friends.  Ronnie was aware that I had a child and I swear I told him that night that he had been diagnosed with autism, Ron doesn't remember me saying anything.  The next night after our first date Ronnie came over and was excited to meet Zach. Zachy just took to him right away.  I will never forget it he had just had a bath and had his little feety pajamas on.  He looked so sweet and lovable and Ronnie was goofing around with him and I was thrilled that they were hitting it off.  I had separated from Zach's Dad when Zach was two and although I had a few dates here and there, I was basically alone for much of that time.  I feared most of the guys were intimidated by Zach's condition and that was just as well because we were a package deal.  With Ron it seemed to be different.  After they played around for a little bit I put Zach to bed and we were talking and Ron came right out and said "what's different about him, he played with me, but he didn't say one word, does he have hearing problems or something?"  My heart started to pound because I swore I told him he had autism the other night.  Ron claimed I didn't or at least he didn't hear me, so then he started asking questions about him, not as an intimidated stranger but as someone who was truly interested.  There was no judgement or fear only genuine curiosity. 

So our relationship progressed very quickly and naturally as well as Ronnie's relationship with Zach.  Zach would wait for Ronnie to come over every night for his hour or so of horse play and I saw a real bond forming between them.  It made me so happy that someone else was able to see Zach for the wonderful child he is and not just focus on his autism.

Then enters Ronnie's friends, a bunch of guys many of who had reputations of tough guys not to be messed with.  Well Zach turned these tough guys into silly clowns who would stand on their heads and do anything to get a laugh from him.  Their total acceptance of Zach and their respect toward me was so evident.  Many of them including Ron would say "God bless the person who ever disrespects or picks on this kid" He was treated as their little mascot. Here were all these guys with tough reputations, covered in tattoos and they were so enamoured with little Zach, letting him jump all over them, roughhousing with him and genuinely interested and concerned with his progress.  Many were trying to get him to talk in silly ways and I never felt so safe or so loved in my entire life.  My relationship with Ronnie was growing stronger every day and we were definitely a threesome, me Zach and Ronnie.  Ronnie gave up his freedom, his finances, his sleep and his entire life before he knew us to spend time with us.  He was becoming Zach's father in every way and I couldn't feel more proud or more protected.  One funny story I can remember was one morning my father had come up to visit with Zach and I, I guess we had slept in and the doors were locked and my dad was lurking around the house, looking in the windows to see if we were up.  Well one of Ron's friends who happened to be nearby at the time noticed this and got enraged by this "peeping Tom" and went right over to him and asked him what the hell he thought he was doing lurking around my house.  My father was a bit disturbed ( but I think he was silently happy that men out of the blue were looking out for us) He explained he was my father and the guy was embarrassed and apologized but I thought it was the most heart warming story.  Our time together was not always marked by fun and games, there were some serious issues with the school system, illnesses, surgery, a move to our new home and PUBERTY which would have challenged the saintliest of men.  Through it all Ron was right there beside us all the way.  He is my boyfriend and my best friend.  He is practically my husband and he is without a doubt Zach's real father.  Ron's family embraced us as if we were part of the family right from the start.  Ron has gone so far as to get tattoos marking his commitment to us.  He has my name on his chest, Zach's initial on his arm, and the autism ribbon on his forearm

   

         There is so much more I can say but I think the pictures and my synopsis of our relationship says it all, so on the eve of Zach's 18th Birthday, I wanted to pay homage to Ron, and say we did it, we made it, and here comes a new chapter of our lives that we will take on together.

If Zach had words I know he would say Thank you for being my advocate, my protector, my buddy, my Dad and my biggest supporter. 

and I ask all of you would you feel afraid if you had THIS protecting you and your child at night?

We are very lucky, and I wanted to take this time to thank him, my best friend for providing us with the definition of family.  We Love you.

Love Lesa and Zachary