Real Men like Freaks

Ok, here's a good one in keeping with the same vein as the vodka for lunch post.  Now don't forget at this time, I was working full time and our mornings were very very hectic.  It was usually me pushing and prodding and yelling and trying to motivate Zach to be somewhat independent.  He is so dependent on prompts, it's cute but it makes for a lot of wasted time.  For example I tell zach to go brush his teeth and he will bring the toothbrush out to me to show me that there is toothpaste on it, and I have to say " Ok Zach that's great, now go in and brush" and he will go in and do two strokes and come out again and show me, and I will have to say, " yep good job, keep going, and he will run in and do two more strokes and come back out, and well you get the picture.  So this goes on and on all morning with everything.  Put your deodorant on, and he runs out ( mind you he is 100% nude when he does this ) with his deo and I have to say Ok buddy good job, now put it on.  So this goes on every morning.  I started really encouraging him to be independent about picking out his own clothing.  I will set out a pair of pants, clean underwear, and clean socks and his job is to find a shirt, get dressed and get his coat and hat on with minimal prompts.  Also as an aside note that has nothing to do with the story but it very funny, Zach has an ipod that he doesn't use but keeps plugged into the computer to charge.  For some reason he insists that I take this ipod with me every day, so if he hears me getting ready to leave he will run out of the shower soaking wet and grab the ipod and throw it in my purse and then run back into the shower.  It's just a weird and wacky thing he does that we no longer question, but I digress.  So anyway one morning he gets finished up, took his shower, ran out nude  threw the ipod in my purse, brushed his teeth put his deo on and got dressed. I was very proud of him for being so independent.  At this time a friend of ours opened a boutique and she must have gotten a lot of promo shirts.  Many of them were Michael Jackson King of Pop shirts, both Zach and I love Michael Jackson so she gave us a big bag full of them.  By the time Zach was done getting ready he had already had his coat on and I didn't think to check his shirt.  So he goes to school and I go to work just like everyday.  When I went to pick him up at my mom's after work, I walked in and everyone was laughing.  My dear auntie from Indiana was in for my niece's wedding shower and I couldn't understand what was so funny.  I also couldn't understand why Zach was wearing some kind of old sweat shirt that I know he would never wear.  My mom handed me a bag with a shirt in it and a note from the teacher.  I open the bag and look at the shirt and I almost fell over.  The shirt said in BIG GREEN NEON LETTERS  REAL MEN LOVE FREAKS and then on the back of the shirt it said THEY JUST WON'T MARRY THEM  along with a picture of a naked woman who had whipped cream covering all of her private parts.  This shirt must have been mixed in with the bag of Michael Jackson shirts.  Now Zach can't read and he is not a pervert. He must have put it on and put his jacket on immediately afterward, which I encourage him to do.  The note from the teacher was very good natured.  She wrote that they needed to change him due to inappropriate clothing that goes against the dress code.  She also wrote that she was SURE I was not aware of this.  So my attempts to foster independence and my always being in a rush failed again.  Now, not only do I have to check his backpack, but I have to check his shirts as well.  The only thing I do know for sure is that his teeth are brushed because he makes sure he keeps me posted on every single stroke of that toothbrush.  Oh How I love that Kid!  He keeps me on my toes but man does he make me laugh.